Bakery Selling 1 Pound Pop Tart-Donut

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SAN DIEGO — A Southern California doughnut shop has come up with yet another guilty pleasure gone viral: a gigantic doughnut stuffed with a Pop Tart filling. Donut Bar, with outlets in Fountain Valley and San Diego, calls the 1-pound creation the “Big Poppa Tart Donut.” It’s appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” “The Steve Harvey Show,” BuzzFeed and TV news. The 2-inch-thick square is stuffed with strawberry jam and a strawberry Pop Tart, then topped with diced Pop Tart, sprinkles and drizzled jam. There’s also a second flavor: S’mores. Donut Bar sells about 150 of the doughnuts daily, at $4 each. Owner-baker Santiago Campa tells the Orange County Register that the doughnut was supposed to be a one-week special, but it’s become so popular, he couldn’t pull it off the menu.

A+ idea. A plus plus plus x infinity idea. Pop Tarts are one of my favorite things ever. They are a part of the pantheon of Breakfast/Snack Greatness. Pop Tarts are so great you cant even describe them without using its name. A Pop Tart is just a Pop Tart. What are you gonna call it? A “toaster pastry?” Fuck outta here. A Pop Tart is a Pop Tart. It defines itself.

Obviously donuts are the greatest food of all time. I feel like I was so ahead of my time on donuts. The donut crazy the world has seen since like 2013 has been me since 1985. Just ahead of the curve waiting for the rest of the world to catch up.

So obviously combining the two is a spectacular idea. The only problem is that these IDIOTS elected to go with fucking strawberry as the flavor. Strawberry! No joke that was the worst decision ever. Pete Carroll throwing the ball on the 1 yard line has been dethroned. Choosing strawberry for the Pop Tart Donut is the new worst choice ever made. And S’mores as the back up??? Meaning you thought Brown Sugar Cinnamon was the THIRD best choice for a pop tart donut flavor? How can someone with a brain smart enough to come up with this marriage botch the last step so badly? Give me a 1 pound Pop Tart Donut or give me death you idiots.