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The NFL Is Releasing Its 2020 Schedule On Thursday Night That Is Definitely 100% Going To Be Completely Played This Year

Apologies for the super optimistic headline, but I am choosing to believe the NFL is going to power through all these coronavirus obstacles to give football fans what they want just like they did with free agency and the draft. Is a group of 53 players playing 256 regular season games along with the countless coaches, medical staff personnel, front office executives, referees, broadcast teams, Big J Journos who neeeeeeed to be near a bunch of dudes changing in a locker room, and whatever fans (if any) are actually allowed into stadiums slightly different than allowing teams to virtually make roster moves? Of course! But if Will Smith taught us anything about the NFL in Concussion, it's that the NFL doesn't give a flying fuck about their players' safety and I am subscribing that Goodell has gone Full Heisenberg behind the scenes. 

I love the NFL announcing when it is going to release its schedule almost as much as I love the NFL actually releasing its schedule because we are basically being told that we are all getting 16 Christmas presents on Thursday night. We won't know what they are for a few days but we know there are going to be some good presents, some awful presents, a couple on Thanksgiving (including one that usually sucks from our friends in Detroit), and some presents that can go either way with 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter with Philip Rivers getting the ball back. But Thursday night confirms we were good enough boys and girls for the presents to be there to unwrap one week at a time after Labor Day and they signify hope in a new season where anything can happen. I'm not sure about you guys, but I could use some a new hope right about now. On Star Wars Day no less! So just let me believe that the NFL has the ability to truckstick through coronavirus like Mike Alstott trucksticked through defenders until they actually start cancelling games.

See you bitches in Dallas for Week 1 since that always seems to be the default opening Giants game, even when there isn't a dude looking to clap back in a good old fashioned revenge game.

I need to see Jerruh's reaction after a late Daniel Jones touchdown called by Garrett wins the game for the Giants more than I need someone to step up and vaccinate this fucking virus.