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Talkin' Cheeseburgers

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Every so often, it’s necessary to tap into the people to see how they feel about important topics. Previously, we talked mac and cheese. Great discussion was had, points were debated, friends were made, and we all learned a lot.

Today, I was thinking about cheeseburgers, and decided to open up the topic of greasy cheeseburger vs fancy cheeseburger. My opinion on the matter is that cheeseburgers wrapped in tin foil where you open it up and the cheese is all melted everywhere is the best cheeseburger you can get. I don’t want a fancy cheeseburger. Not to say fancy cheeseburgers aren’t delicious, because they are. One guy actually made a great point that a cheeseburger is so good that if he’s at a 5 star Italian restaurant, if there’s a cheeseburger on the menu, he’s ordering it. And that’s a valid, great point. Take me to a fancy place and I want a milkshake and chicken fingers because it’s generally more delicious than the leaf and 2 ounce piece of meat they give you. But in terms of cheeseburgers, I’d still prefer a messy one. And much like in the mac and cheese talk, most people are in agreement. So I once again tip my cap to you, the stoolies, for your great taste in cheeseburgers.

The second point of contention was the topic of mushrooms on burgers. The official Barstool DMV stance on that is mushrooms are disgusting. They have no place in the same zip code as a delicious cheeseburger, nevermind sitting in the mix of things. I wouldn’t come over your house and take a shit on your ping pong table, so don’t you dare put some shit on my burger. Like, what’s even the point of a mushroom on a burger? Here’s something delicious, now allow me to put mushy chewy stuff on it to totally take away from the deliciousness. Might as well put peas on a burger if you’re putting mushrooms on a burger.

Finally, this is an important late breaking debate:


If you go to McDonalds and order 5 different things, is it the move to take a bite of each, rotating item to item? It’s such an insane strategy, but I love it. I can’t believe I’ve been eating one item at a time this entire time. I’m never not eating like Joe ever again.

So that’s it. Another great food discussion in the bag. Fancy cheeseburgers are good, but greasy are better. Zburger is currently my go-to burger spot. Remember a while ago when I was talking about how McDonalds needs spicy Big Mac sauce? Zburger has it. It’s called Z sauce or something and I’d like to use it as lube.