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The FDA Would Very Much Appreciate It If You Could Stop Making Hand Sanitizer So Goddamn Tasty

MSN - According to the FDA, calls to the National Poison Data System increased 79% in March 2020 compared to the same time last year, and to bring those numbers down they’re asking manufacturers to make hand sanitizer less appealing to the taste buds.

An advisory released by the FDA on Monday encourages makers of hand sanitizer to add denatured alcohol, which tastes bitter, to their products in order to make children (and some adults, one supposes) less likely to ingest them. 

There's nothing like cracking open a cold one after a long, hard day of moving from your bedroom to your living room and then back to your bedroom again. You finally get to kick back, relax, and enjoy an ice cold glass of Purell. But apparently the folks over at the Food and Drug Administration don't want you to enjoy yourself. They want to take that away from you and they want companies to start making hand sanitizer taste like shit again. 

Truth be told, the scariest thing about this whole pandemic is just how much it's brought to our attention how dumb some folks are. And sure, kids can't really be held accountable here because they're idiots by nature. But in just the past 7 days alone we've had to have Lysol come out and say "please do not ingest our disinfectants and/or drink bleach", and now we have the FDA telling hand sanitizer companies that they need to make their product taste like poison so people will stop drinking it.

It's just that we constantly think we're so much more advanced as a human species when the reality is that we're just as dumb as we were when the bubonic plague was ravaging through the population only this time we have TikTok. Not ideal! 

@BarstoolJordie