I wake up and see people RTing this. Why? Why would they do this to me? Do you remember when you found out that Santa wasn't real? When you realized he really was saying "Booooooooo-urns" instead of "boooooooo"? Because I'll never forget it.
I could not believe it. Canibus wasn't my favorite rapper or the best rapper, but he was high in the rankings of both. The year was 2012 and I was just getting hip to rap battles being put on YouTube, so imagine my delight when I saw the grizzled vet Canibus was battling a gentleman that was using a "z" in place of an "s" in the word "Disaster". Not only was I happy to see the battle but I was also confident in Canibus. Boy was I wrong.
He said he wrote too many rhymes to remember, admitted he's not a good freestyler, and conceded defeat to his opponent before he even began. He said this before a live freestyle rap battle.
He said he had 30 pages of bars in his notebook. Then he pulled out the notebook with said bars. He also had a sling on his arm so he was looking extra vulnerable. He flipped the top page over the notebook like he was taking AP Chemistry notes. I spit out my weed smoke in disbelief. There was nothing he could say that would have got the heat off of him at that moment. He would have had to have the best rhymes in the world to overcome this. Spoiler: he did not. He said his opponent looked like the guy from Office Space and said he sounded like Andy Milonakis. That was on the first page of the notepad. It went downhill from there.
Canibus then asked if the crowd wanted to "hear this shit" to mixed responses. This wasn't MJ getting crossed by AI. There was no shame in that. This was MJ coming out on crutches and asking the crowd if they'd like to see he and AI play HORSE instead since they both worked so hard on their super cool basketball moves. I'm going to find whoever put this back on my timeline today, block them and then go to bed.