Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Thursday, September 28th, 2023Watch Now
Finish This Meal For $25,000 | Barstool's Most Dangerous Gameshow FinaleWATCH NOW

Suns Out Buns Out For Kylie Jenner


It's honestly astounding how different quarantine is for somebody like Kylie Jenner as opposed to somebody like me. That pool she's standing in is bigger than the living room of my apartment and I'm not close to kidding. Look at that entire pool area! It's huge! You wanna know what happens to me in my apartment from time to time? My shoulders slam into the walls if I don't correctly judge my route through the hallway to the bathroom. I'm a large fella living in a tiny NYC apartment. I can guarantee Kylie's shoulders have never grazed the hallways of her house because the hallways are probably 15 feet wide. I'm not trying to play the Woe Is Me card either, I'm just pointing out how different our quarantine situations are.

And don't get me wrong, Kylie earned it all and I truly mean that. Kylie Jenner deserves every square foot of her mansion. People who say Kylie doesn't deserve her billion dollars is a flat out h8er to the highest degree. She looked at her positioning in life, saw the potential it had, acted on it and boom now she has a billion dollars to show for it. She sold so much goddamn make up man. So. Much. Makeup. If that's not the American Dream then I don't know what is.