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How Does The Bundesliga Plan To Start Playing On May 9: No Sex And No Sharing Toothbrushes

[Daily Mail] - Players can live either in team hotels or at home but sex and kissing is banned if they or their partners show symptoms of the virus. Stadiums will allow a maximum of 300 people at one time, including only four policemen, 10 journalists, four ball boys, eight groundsmen and 50 security staff.

Players will press lift buttons with their elbows, but will not be able to use the bar or room service.

They will also be told to avoid kissing or sex with partners who are showing symptoms and to not share toothbrushes, towels, dishes, drinks or bed sheets.

So this came out the last couple of days and explains some of the stipulations the players over in Germany need to agree to in order for Bundesliga to begin play on May 9 again. Let me tell you, it's something. Good news, players can live in a hotel or house. Bad news is if they live in a hotel you can't order room service or use the bar. So what the hell do you do there? How do you eat? Feel like living in a hotel and having to cook is a bottom-1 option. 

The stipulation if they live at home? No kissing or having sex with your partner if they are showing symptoms. Feel like that's a bit of a no-brainer. Who wants to have sex with someone who is sick? Just go jerk off. Now why does this matter. Soccer players and the pregame/postgame routine of banging their wives is significant! 

Now the other requests? Well you shouldn't be allowed in public if you're sharing a toothbrush with anyone. That's one of those things you better have your own. If you don't? Use your finger. There's not a person in the world where it's okay to share a toothbrush. 

Just let this happen. Stop having sex. Sleep in your own bed. Don't even think about using someone else's toothbrush. We need more pro sports coming back. Clem needs a team damnit!