NYDN – He may be scared of the dentist, but he’s sure not afraid of the police. A 12-year-old French boy was reportedly so determined not to go to the dentist that he faked his own kidnapping, leading to a one-month investigation by cops. The dental-drama began late May after he was found by police hiding in Alpine village St. Gervais on May 21, The Local Europe reported. When the boy was questioned by officers, he allegedly claimed that he had just escaped an abduction attempt from nearby town Bagnols. Sticking to his guns, he elaborately invented a scar-faced villain who lured him to his car for directions as he was dutifully heading to his dentist appointment. That’s when, without warning, the man pulled him into his car and took off. It was only by luck that the boy said he managed to escape when the vehicle stopped in St. Gervais. He described the man as European-looking in his 30s, with a muscular build, standing 5-feet-7-inches tall, and with a vertical scar on his right cheek. He further provided a description of the car the man had been driving and the clothes he was wearing. For a month the boy appeared to have gotten away scot-free, until officers called him in for questioning once more — after reviewing security footage in Bagnols. When confronted about his tall tale, the boy reportedly confessed to making the entire story up all so he wouldn’t have to go to the dentist.
At first I was like fuck this stupid Frenchy, pussy ass bitch, go to the dentist like a man. Then I was like, no. No. This kid is a hero. The dentist fucking sucks. Nobody likes going to the dentist. And this kid snaked his way out of going by the most extreme way possible. Faking your own kidnapping and then lying to the police for a month takes heart. Miles and miles of heart. Heart rarely seen by the Frenchies. This kid should be sitting on a French throne being fed crepes by hairy french women. He showed more guts and more hustle than the French have seen in years. He was describing the kidnapper’s clothes, his look, what he smelled like, everything. All because he didn’t want a dentist to use that pokey thingy and make his gums look like he just ate out a sorority house during the wrong week of the month. So good for him. Stick to your guns, kid. If you don’t want to go to the dentist, do anything in your power to not go to the dentist. Props, you French fuck. Props.