[Source] -"Anyway, the game started and I was alright then about 20 minutes in I started cramping. Somehow I made it through to half-time and I thought I'd be alright. The ball went down the Irish left hand side and I ran across and tried to block something. I sort of fell to the ground and relaxed for a second and it just went 'boom'.
"It was like, 'Oh my god', but it was like everywhere. There's a bit, if you ever see the footage, where Gary Stevens comes over and asks what's wrong.
"And I go, 'I've s*** myself'. I just didn't know what to do. Thank God I had dark blue shorts on that day. I'm shovelling it out and rubbing myself on the grass like a dog.
You know what's always funny? Poop jokes. What's even funnier is when someone, a star in their sport, shits themselves on the biggest stage. We use that term to sum up someone's play or if they choke. But nope, not here. Gary Lineker, a star for England soccer, quite literally shit himself on the field during the World Cup. He's England's third time leading scorer and all I'll ever know him for is poop.
The best part is he didn't even hide it. He started acting like a dog with an itchy butthole. Just shuffling along on the field and scooping some of it out. What a helpless feeling. He even scored during this game! But, you know what move is even better? The shimmying along the field to try to wipe and play it cool. Can't get subbed out if you wipe your ass. Everyone knows that rule.
Only one thing to do now. Make sure the US qualifies for the 2022 World Cup and have Christian Pulisic shit himself in the first game. Guarantee himself a solid career and that's what we need now. Shit, they even made the Final Four during this World Cup! Clearly the key is having a star shit themselves and you guarantee success.
Still an all-time story is George Brett though: