There has never been an opportunity for Barstool content greater than this. This would be it. Nothing can top it. Bid the highest number and you can watch MNF in Roger Goodell's basement with him. This was made for Dave Portnoy to win and there's nothing the NFL can do about it. All the money from the bid goes to COVID-19 relief. Are they going to say no to charity? No to saving the world? Goodell is evil, but he can't get out of that. If Dave Portnoy, one of the world's greatest philanthropists, bids the most money here, he gets to put Goodell in a torture chamber for three hours. Nowhere to go. It'll be like Batman in a locked room with the joker. I refuse to live a life where this doesn't happen.
Empty the bank account, Dave. Hell we can start raising money right now and pool it all together. Whatever it takes, this has to happen.
Update: Here. We. Go.