The Milwaukee Brewers Banned High Fives To Stop The Spread Of Pink Eye

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PEORIA, Ariz. — The Milwaukee Brewers will have to find a new way to celebrate for the next few spring training games. The team has banned high-fives to avoid the spread of pinkeye. Catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz became the latest victims Thursday. They will be staying home for 48 hours in hopes of stopping the spread of the annoying and highly contagious malady.

“We’ve been going through it for a while, and it seems like a couple of more show up every day,” manager Ron Roenicke said. The team won’t high-five until the outbreak is over. The Brewers play the Mariners on Friday afternoon.





Can you be mathematically eliminated before Opening Day? Because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened here.  I don’t want to tell the Brewers how to go about their business but this is embarrassing. You can’t even beat Pink Eye? You have to ban High Fives? What’s next, no backpacks in the sandbox because someone got lice? Jesus christ Milwaukee, this is so sad. Even if you have a Pink Eye problem you don’t admit it. We call that Costas 101. Deny Deny Deny and your pink eye never actually exists.


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Before anyone says I shouldn’t be talking because I’m a Cubs fan just remember, we’ve hit like 10,000 Home Runs this spring training.