NAPLES, Fla. - A sign that read, "Help! Get me out of here!" alarmed Florida deputies, but it turned out a little girl just need help with her math homework.
A maintenance worker in North Naples noticed the sign in an apartment window and notified the Collier County Sheriff's Office.
When deputies arrived, they learned the 10-year-old girl's mother sent her to her room to finish her assignment.
Ah yes, the inevitable homework struggle. I faced this struggle my entire school life, as soon as I got home, my brain would just shut off and go into relaxation mode. It's not like I was a bad student either. I always did well on classwork, tests, and quizzes but my homework grade would always end up fucking me over.
There were just always far more important things to be doing; playing sports after school, hanging out with friends, 'awkwardly' stare at girls until they look back then quickly look the other way, watching tv, taking bubble baths, etc, etc. Whatever it may have been, it was always prioritized over homework. One may argue my lack of homework completion is why I ended up at Western Connecticut State University but that's neither here nor there. Enough about me.
This girl, however, is on another level. It looks like she got into one of the typical "do your homework" arguments with her parents (classic). Whatever. Happens all the time. Who hasn't had an argument about doing homework? It's what happens after the presumed argument that things went awry. There are a million different word combinations she could've used here that would've worked here.
"Someone please help me with my homework", perhaps
"I need help doing my homework so I can leave my room"
Even saying "My bitch mom is making me do homework. I need help" would've been 1000x better.
"The girl decided to take an unorthodox approach," according to the sheriff's office.
Unorthodox? Unorthodox seems like a bit of an understatement. This is full-blown bananalands. In what world does it make any logical sense to write "Help! Get me out of here!" and display it when you're talking about homework. Call me old fashioned but the internet seems like it would probably be able to help her out. She could've even held a sign up in her window, asking for help, take a picture, and upload it to twitter and she'd probably have 15k retweets with a slew of homework answers.
Instead, she opted for the I-want-the-cops-to-show-up-and-interrogate-my-family route. Not exactly the best option but it remains to be seen if she got any help with her homework. That poor yard maintenance guy must've thought he was in a scene from Taken or something.
That must be the biggest "oh shit" moment of all time when you stumble upon a possible kidnapee. He was 1000% in the right to call the police. You see a sign like that in the window and it's the easiest 911 dial of all time. He had no idea what goes on in that house. Could be a scene out of Saw for all this guy knows.
I guess this girl just uses this as a learning step for the future. It'll make for a good story until she has to tell it to everyone she meets in the next 20 years. Live and learn I suppose. She should just be happy she didn't send her parents to jail.
PS - Not to throw stones but I feel like I was wayyyy smarter than this when I was 10. No way would I have ever done this. Probably because I just didn't do any homework. Maybe I'm the weird one.