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War Room Wars: Jerry Jones' Yacht vs. Belichick's Nantucket Dining Room, Who Ya Got?


First of all, credit where credit is due. The NFL gets a lot of things wrong, but in this case, when they were presented with a tough situation to deal with, they not only pulled off the Zoom Draft with only a couple of minor glitches that didn't amount to anything, they actually made decent television out of it. Not counting the host, who was the worst emcee since Dunkelman

Must. Employ. Human. Vocal. Inflection. Convivial Mode: Activated.

And while this idea of sticking cameras in the GM's homes was done out of necessity instead of by design, it worked. It was like the draft mixed with HGTV with a shot of "MTV's Cribs," into a fairly decent cocktail. As a matter of fact, while it'll never happen, I'd love to see them do it in some form every year. Bring back the crowd and the stage and all that. But I wouldn't mind at all seeing how these guys live. 

And needless to say, Jerry Jones and Bill Belichick stole the show. Two polar opposite men at opposite ends of the fame and power spectrum. The Alpha and Omega of NFL personnel people. 

In this corner, you've got Jones setting up shop in his 357-foot, $250 million megayacht that cost him $100 million more than he paid for the Cowboys. That probably burns more fuel to travel one nautical mile on a flat calm sea than I've used to heat my house for the last 20 years. In a cabin the size of an average hotel ball room. The kind of ship that only ever used for two purposes: Seducing lingerie models and for poker games between 007 and a guy with a dueling scar and an eyepatch. And I'm 90% convinced that bell jar on the table contains a flower that, if the last petal falls, Jones will never be able to turn back into his human form. 

Belichick's Nantucket house on the other hand, is pure Belichick. Spare. Austere. The kitchen table from "Married with Children" surrounded by the sorts of bamboo chairs that are priced at four for $100 dollars at every yard sale, but they'll let you Christian them down to $75. And are mandatory in every house on the Cape & Islands or else the local authorities won't give you a permit to occupy. Nothing but three laptops, a spreadsheet of all the prospects, what I think might be a bottle of fish oil tablets on the table, the cable remote and the greatest football mind of all time. I guarantee you there will be at least one guy in your next Fantasy draft with more technology in front of him than GM Bill did last night. And having the shades drawn is a nice touch, just in case the Jets or Dolphins tried sending someone over on the ferry to spy through the window. 

So it's a tough call. Quarter of a billion dollar superyacht of the rich and famous or a bare bones dining room on the island. But I think by now I've made it clear that if I could teleport "Star Trek" style into any place in the world at any moment, it'd be the Patriots war room on Draft Day. Having it be where Bill and Linda eat dinner every night would only make it that much better. 

Second might be Kliff Kingsbury's place though. 

It can't suck to live life in the stock photo that comes up when you search "tech billionaire."