Australian Man Finds Gigantic Snake In His Corn Flakes Box

(Source) An Australian man had the fright of his life after finding a gigantic snake coiled up inside his cornflakes. Jarred Smith was going to prepare something to eat at his Davidson, Sydney, home March 3 when he made the terrifying discovery, reports the Daily Telegraph. The 6-foot-long diamond python sat quietly in the cereal box.

“It was super weird,” said 22-year-old Smith. “I peeked in the box, saw its head pop out and that’s when I dropped my food on the counter and bolted for the door,” he told the Daily Telegraph. Smith told his father about the unexpected intruder, and they called the New South Wales Wildlife Information, Rescue and Education Service for help.WIRES’ Chris McGreal arrived on the scene. He got the snake out of the box and returned it to nearby bushland.

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See, this is why whenever someone tells me how beautiful and awesome Australia is I just laugh. Oh you have beaches and babes and beer? Cool, because you also have tarantulas and sharks and fucking SNAKES IN CEREAL BOXES. And that right there is a great life lesson. You want to live some place warm with all the perks? You have to pay the price. Live in Australia, have a snake in your kitchen. LA? Cool, can’t wait for you to fall in the ocean when the big earthquake hits. Miami? Yeah that sounds fun, let me know when that Hurricane knocks down your house or the serial killer down the block eats your family.  That’s why if you want safety you stay right in the middle of the country. Yes our winters suck and we’re all pretty fat and gross but we also don’t have to worry about exotic deadly animals and natural disasters. Worst thing that happens in Chicago are Cicadas every 17 years and summer thunderstorms that scares your dog. I think I just wrote our new tourism tag line. That one’s for free Rahm, next one’s gonna cost ya.

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