Do The Flyers Stink Because Claude Giroux Is The Captain?
No. But that’s what Randy J. Miller, Flyers beat writer and resident ass hat for NJ.com would like you to believe.
It hasn’t exactly been a great little stretch for the Philadelphia Flyers recently. They were hot coming out of the All Star Break, but after a 3-game skid, the season is all but over. Oh well. Shit happens and nobody was really expecting them to make the playoffs anyway. Chalk this up to just another disappointing season as a Philadelphia sports fan. However, Randy Miller has taken it upon himself to ask the one question that literally nobody with a brain is asking right now. Do the Flyers suck because Claude Giroux is the captain? Here are some excerpts from his brilliant piece of shit post titled, “Flyers sinking again with Claude Giroux as captain; Time for change?” (p.s. – what a putz).
(A face only a mother could love…)
“Flyers players are saying they’re not competing hard enough, not competing every shift of every game. Steve Mason plays great and says he’s embarrassed because of the play in front of him. Players feel that they’re underachieving,believe that they should be a playoff team instead of on the verge of missing the postseason.
Who’s to blame? There’s already speculation that head coach Craig Berube will be a casualty when this lost season ends next month.
Let’s go a step further: Is Claude Giroux worthy of remaining team captain?”
This would have been a totally acceptable thing for a human being to publish, if only the douche nozzle stopped after the 5th sentence. But unfortunately, Randy doesn’t blog for Barstool so I guess he has to write a few more words to keep an “editor” happy. And that’s where things went off the rails.
…the Flyers are closing in on their second non-playoff season in Giroux’s three seasons as captain.
Again, the Flyers’ recent struggles aren’t all on Giroux, but teammates calling each other out for not competing and underachieving is partly on him. What’s bothersome is that this honestly coming from the Flyers dressing room is coming from alternate captains Wayne Simmonds and Mark Streit, and goaltender Steve Mason. Top scorer Jakub Voracek sometimes can play this role, as well.
For whatever reason, Giroux just doesn’t seem comfortable answering tough questions during tough times…It’s at a point now that now where beat writers sometimes don’t even request to add Giroux to the post-game interview list because his quotes often as unusable clichés.
Awww. Poor Randy J. Miller. Claude doesn’t answer Randy’s questions good enough so now Randy can type virtual farts on to his computer about what the captain has to say. The butts. They hurt so good.
Leaving that task to others isn’t a sign of strong leadership. The same goes for embarrassing the organization with off-ice issues.
Giroux just finished his first season as captain two summers ago when a golf club supposedly shattered in his hand. Ever heard of that happening to anyone else? Is that what really happened? A lot of of people think there’s more to the story.
Then there was the drunken butt-pinching-the-cop episode in an Ottawa bar last summer which landed him behind bars for a night.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Randy. Get a goddamn grip, dude. Yes, this is exactly why the Flyers suck this season. The Flyers will not make the playoffs this year because Claude Giroux doesn’t give you the soundbites you’d hope for and because he pinched a cop’s ass in the summer. He should be stripped of his captaincy, and let’s take it a step further because I know this fuck stick would love the add a little more heat to this take; let’s just kick Claude Giroux out of the league? If he’s not going to honestly answer questions for beat writers about touching a cop’s heiny, well then he’s no better than a modern-day Marty McSorley.
Listen. I get that there’s plenty wrong with the Flyers right now. But if anyone honestly thinks that Claude Giroux shouldn’t be the captain of this team, I’m going to need you to just shut that stupid mouth of yours that I know you breathe out of. It baffles me that people get paid real life money to write garbage like that. Honestly, it gives me hope. But it infuriates me to no end.
P.S. – Why does it look like the Flyers beat writers are about to drop the hottest rap album of all time?
