Daily Mail- Three teen burglars stole ashes after mistaking them for cocaine – and only realized after they tasted them. Devin M. Gesell, 17, is accused of breaking into the home in St Peter’s, Missouri, in November with two others – a 15-year-old and a 16-year-old who can not be named for legal reasons. The trio thought they had come across a stash of cocaine and took it from the house along with a necklace worth $500, a Xbox 360 game system, bottles of prescription drugs oxycodone and morphine, and over $800 in cash, reports the St. Louis Post- Dispatch. But when they tasted the ashes, which were in a wooden box, they realized their mistake – and threw the homeowner’s father’s ashes out of the car. Gessel later told the police they could not remember where they threw them out so police have not been able to retrieve them. According to police, the three knew the family who lived at the home and planned the burglary after seeing a Facebook post which indicated they were going to be away.
Whoops! Just your classic case of mistaking cocaine for the ashes of a dead man. I guess that’s what happens when you look like you’re 8 years old and you’re stealing stuff from a house. I know the story says he’s 17 years old but that kid isn’t a day over 9. Not a chance. No wonder he saw ashes in a wooden box and was like, “Score! Cocaine! We about to get hiiiiiiiiiigh as a mutha fucka! Like in Blow when they can’t feel their faces! I bet this stuff is as pure as the driven snow.” Only to get get a finger full taste of it and realize they just walked off with gramps and all his glory. If the story had stopped there, and they’d returned the ashes because, well, they’re ashes of a loved one, then fine. No harm done (expect the initial taste test). But the fact that they just threw the wooden box out the car window is cold blooded shit. Never heard of anything that sick in my life. This kid might be 9 years old but he has a future of multiple homicides in front of him. Lock him up and throw away the ket. You gotta at least return the ashes. I don’t care how stupid you feel.