The Newest Huge Coronavirus Danger: Having Testicles

Jerry Thornton4/20/2020 4:35 PM

Source - Men are more at risk of suffering severe bouts of coronavirus because the disease "lingers" in the testicles, a new study has found.

Researchers tracking the recovery of 68 patients in Mumbai, India, found that the virus took a much worse toll on men.

Dr Aditi Shastri, an oncologist at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, New York, led the research along with her mother Dr Jayanthi Shastri, a microbiologist at the Kasturba Hospital for Infectious Diseases in Mumbai.

They found that Covid-19 latches onto a protein known angiotensin-converting enzyme 2 (ACE2) which is found in large quantities in the testicles. ...

Since testicles are walled off from the rest of the body's immune system, the virus can stay there for longer periods of time, according to the study.

This may explain why women in many countries have tended to bounce back from the disease more quickly than men.

Well that's just great. Thanks a lot, Almighty. We really appreciate this steel-toed kick to the groin.

Look, I'm not going to be unreasonable about this. There are good and bad aspects to having some of your most important parts outside your body like we do. Accessibility being the obvious one. Men are built for function, women are built for form. We're basically a Jeep. We're not much to look at, but we operate well in places where the road doesn't have much integrity and when the conditions are good, we can take our tops off. Women are precision engineered sports cars that are sleek and stylish. And when they need repairs you've pretty much take the whole engine out. It's biological and mechanical science.

But for all the benefits of, say, being able to make the world be my urinal - which I appreciate - I don't much care for a design flaw that turns our yam bags into breeding grounds for a killer virus. It's bad enough to have them situated out in the open and essentially a magnet for every bad-hop ground ball, bicycle crossbar and dog's nose out there. And I respect that you couldn't get an Adam Sandler comedy out of the development stage without at least five moments of squished balls-related hilarity. I mean, that's fun for the whole family. All I want is for half the world's population to not be walking around with global pandemic acorns bouncing around in their dick pillows.

I don't think that's too big an ask. Especially when I'm in that half of the population. Worse, that I'm part of the subset of that particular demo whose balls are getting further outside my body cavity every year.