Peeps Milk Is The Most Disgusting, Vile, Horrifying Thing I've Ever Laid Eyes On

(Source) — Now you can eat your Peeps and drink them, too. Prairie Farms, a dairy company in Illinois, has teamed up with the sugary treat maker to deliver Peeps-flavored milk. The milk comes in three different flavors: Chocolate Marshmallow Milk, Marshmallow Milk and Easter Egg Nog. Both marshmallow milks can be purchased in reduced-fat varieties, and the calories for each milk range from 190 to 250 calories, according to Prairie Farms’ website.  According to a press release, Peeps is the No. 1 non-chocolate candy brand at Easter. Prairie Farm said that given that fact, “creating a line of flavors that joins the two strong brands was an obvious choice.”

An obvious choice? That’s what we’re calling marshmallow milk? As the resident milk guy here I feel the need to step up and say something and put an end to this. Because just the site of those cartons makes me want to wretch. It hurts my teeth just to look at. There’s literally nothing redeeming about Peeps whatsoever, they’re probably in my top 3 biggest deal breakers when it comes to dating. 1. If you smoke, 2. if you like peeps, 3. if you have a penis. Yeah, they’re worse than penis. So why anyone would feel the need to ruin the flawless nature of milk with this nonsense is beyond me. “Oh it’s Easter season? Let’s take the shittiest part of it and make it into milk!” You wouldn’t do that with candy corn, at Halloween, you wouldn’t do that with my punk cousin at Christmas. So don’t do it with Easter.