Maybe Don't Go to the Beach Right When It Re-Opens If You're Wanted For Murder

New York Post — Cops enforcing coronavirus restrictions at a Florida beach Sunday arrested a man on the lam in a Pennsylvania murder case.

The arrest of fugitive Mario Matthew Gatti, 30, unfolded two days after officials partially reopened Jacksonville beaches that had been closed to stop the spread of the coronavirus. The reopening drew hundreds of beachgoers.

“This morning while officers patrolled the beach proper they captured a Fugitive from Justice, wanted in Arnold, Pennsylvania for Homicide,” the Jacksonville Beach Police Department tweeted. “Good job!”

Look, I get it. We've all been in the house for going on two months now and everyone is desperate to do anything. And then Jacksonville re-opened its beaches for whatever reason, but still under some sort of law enforcement supervision.

But did that matter to murder fugitive Mario Gatti? Not a chance. He needed to hit the surf.

In having this job where I look for stories like this, the stupidity of the overwhelming majority of criminals has become abundantly clear to me. This guy, after having allegedly committed a murder, found a way to get from Pennsylvania all the way to Florida without getting caught and then gets hauled off to jail because he just had to get some Sun.

I am incredibly glad the authorities apprehended this man and he is where he is supposed to be now, but so many criminals could benefit from just one piece of advice I've noticed seems to be a recurring problem for them: if you're breaking the law, don't break the law.

The beaches were opened again for walking, running, swimming and surfing but restrictions haven’t been lifted that prohibited sunbathing and lounging in chairs or on blankets.

Literally all you couldn't do was lounge in a chair or on a blanket. Maybe the cops just happened to spot him at the right place and right time, but it seems more likely to me Gatti was doing literally the only thing he couldn't do — while there was a heightened security presence making sure these rules were enforced.

Like, the beach really couldn't have waited? You're asking for a one-way trip to the big house at that point.