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Roger Federer's Teenage Blonde Hair Was Breathtaking

My god was that hair something else. It may not be the best looking thing in the world, but you know what it does? It stops the whole room. People end whatever conversations they're having and wonder who the fuck just walked into the room. One by one all the women approach this striking young fella, mesmerized by his Back Street Boys locks wondering what his deal is. Then he starts whispering simple sweet nothings into their ears in Swiss-German and it's game over. Next thing you know, you're in teenage Federer's bed wondering what the hell happened. Love that he threw in the hashtag #Premirka (Mirka being his wife). This man was an issue for any father with a daughter 20 years ago. 

Back when I had a full head of hair I actually wanted frosted tips so I could look like Roger Clemens. When bringing the idea up to my dad he looked me in the eyes ad asked if I was kidding. That forced me to pretend I was joking and to quickly retreat to any room other than the one I was in to avoid being thrown out onto the streets. Bad idea. 

Feits came right at me for tweeting about this and I think we need to call the hospital or someone of importance. This is a cry for help. 

John is going to be mad when he finds out I've lost weight during the quarantine. 

But anyways back to Federer, here are some more videos of his luscious blonde hair. He actually wanted red hair for a little bit but couldn't pull the trigger. 

Long live the king. Whatever hair style he chooses I will be there to defend it.