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If Anyone Should Be Offered Millions To Do Porno Play-By-Play, It's These Guys...

C'mon.

No disrespect to Joe Buck, who - love him or hate him - had a PHENOMENAL response to this whole thing...

...but if anybody should be doing porn play-by-play for millions, it's this crew...

Could you fucking imagine the enthusiasm they'd bring to that gig? The UFC commentary table just absolutely losing their shit over Teanna Trump doing some nasty shit? Lana Rhodes making a cupcake appear out of god knows where? Possibly even a throwback OG Mudbone compilation? 

For fucks sake, I feel like they'd even be able to make MY sex tape exciting…

Joe Rogan: "OHHHHHHH HE'S ROCKED!!! HIS EYES ARE GONE!!!"

Daniel Cormier: "HE'S ON WOBBLY LEGS, JOE!!! I THINK HE'S ABOUT TO BE DONE!!!"

Jon Anik: "THAT'S IT!!! ONE OF THE QUICKEST FINISHES YOU'LL EVER SEE!!!"

Hell, if they're not gonna do it, though, I know three guys who would…