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Woman Files For Divorce Because Her Husband Only Bangs Her 3 Times A Week

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Dubai: A woman is seeking to divorce her husband because he cannot satisy her sexual needs.

The woman lodged her lawsuit before the Dubai Sharia Court claiming divorce against the damages that she claims to have incurred because her husband cannot have sex with her two to three times per day.

“The wife claims that her husband can only have sex with her three to four times a week… but she deems that unsatisfactory. After she and her countryman husband failed to reach an amicable settlement, the case was referred to the Sharia Court to look into the woman’s divorce claim,” sources close to the case told Gulf News.

When confronted by the presiding judge, the claimant [wife] said she desires to have sexual intercourse with her husband twice or thrice a day but he cannot fulfil her demands.  When asked how many times they had sex during the week, the woman claimed in court that her husband sleeps with her three to four times a week.

“The court informed the woman that her claim for divorce due to what she describes as damages is not sufficient to leave her husband. The wife insisted that her husband fails to satisfy her needs. In her lawsuit, the wife alleged that the defendant [husband] should either be able to please her or grant her a divorce,” added the source.

It is believed that the presiding judge suggested that the wife undergo medical treatment, but she refused and asked for [the husband be examined by a medical expert].

The judge then informed the wife that having sex three to four times a week for married couples is not considered a damaging factor and is insufficient reason to claim divorce.

When the wife insisted on her claims, the court decided to refer the husband for a medical check up to confirm to the claimant that her husband is healthy and fit and capable of pleasing her, added the source.

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Who knows with these stories whether they’re real or not, basically once you step outside of the United States borders all internet news is 50/50 at best.  Hell, even Florida is questionable every time a story from those weirdos pops up.  So take this with a grain of salt, but all I can do is take what the internet presents me with.  Like a sexually unfulfilled wife in Dubai begging permission for a divorce because her husband can’t dick her down properly.  Who to side with?

On the one hand there’s millions of guys out there who would kill to have this problem, a wife that wants sex all the time.  Doesn’t get headaches, doesn’t have cramps, isn’t “not in the mood” 29 days of the month.  Just wants to smash like you were back in college again.  Much worse problems in a marriage.  On the other hand, how long have they been married?  I mean, I may have skipped journalism grad school, but even I got to the part where you kind of need to put the important parts of the legal case in your article.  Is it still the honeymoon phase, year 1 or 2 when these two should be fucking like rabbits?  Just nonstop banging all over the bedroom, the kitchen, the shower, the hot tub?  Or is it like, year 6, where the bright spot of your day is your wife falling asleep before you get home so you can peacefully watch Seinfeld re-runs on TBS, or sneaking off to the bathroom for an hour with “stomach trouble” so you can catch some Netflix on your iPad?  Kind of a huge difference.

I mean if it’s still early on then give the lady her divorce, her husband is clearly a pussy and most likely gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that*.  But if not it’s time to sit this bitch down and explain to her the reality of married life.  Even the biggest sexual stud wants a little downtime me-time.  Also, and I don’t want to be mean here, there’s a strong possibility that you’re just flat out ugly and/or stink at sex.  Any of the above scenarios are worth exploring.

 

 

*forgot this was Dubai for a second, they’re going to find something wrong with that so keep it yourself.

 

 

 

 

[Depressed wife photo by Shutterstock, shout out for that amazing pic]