The "A Gronking To Remember" Sequel That You Didn't Ask For Is Out

(Amazon) – Leigh has a serious problem. And it’s the sick, twisted pervert who’s kidnapped her for his own pleasure! Chad! When Leigh spurns his advances at a party he throws in her honor, Chad goes haywire and kidnaps her, stealing her away to his personal New England Patriots Shangri-La, a secret Man Cave hundreds of feet below sea level he affectionately calls his “Chadmiral’s Quarters.” Leigh awakens to a strange NFL-and-BDSM-infused nightmare. Chad is obviously off the deep end with lust for her, and while naked, Leigh is tantalized to see Chad is a very built and attractive man—but now that Chad has her in his grasp he has some very “unique” ideas about how they should spend their time together. He’s going to teach her the rules whether she want to learn them or not. Rules that will make Leigh squirm with pain and pleasure. Leigh cries out! But is it with ecstasy? Is she starting to like what Chad has to offer? Complicating things? With Dan? With Gronk? With her etsy store? With her very soul?

What a TERRIBLE title for this surefire classic piece of literature. You read the words “A Gronking To Remember 2: Chad Goes Deep In the Neutral Zone” and you immediately think gay, right? I’m not the weird one? Because to me it sounds like Gronk fucks Chad and the neutral zone is a bisexual thing. That was my first impression. Turns out it’s some kind of NFL/50 Shades of Grey mashup but “don’t judge a book by the cover” is just a stupid phrase that only idiots follow. Books should exclusively be judged by the cover. And this one says “Wanna read about gay sex? Buy this!”

But just so everyone knows, the “neutral zone” is the butt of butts. It’s a mystical, neutral butt. I feel like such a prude for not knowing that. Anal and butt stuff is out, neutral zone stuff is in. All about that butt butt now.