Bostonmagazine – I’ve used Tinder before, but, you know, the “normal” way. I’ve scanned through area singles who mostly consist of grad students, firefighters, and an assortment of men posing on boats with large fish. I’ve gone on dates, and they haven’t all been terrible. But for some reason—maybe it was that stomach bug or maybe just because of the times we’re living in—on a whim, I decided to see if I could use Tinder to get someone to shovel out my car. To avoid confusion, I made my terms crystal clear:
Luckily for me, the first person who responded was a 38-year-old man I’ll call Ted. “Brilliant!” he opened. “I can offer a shoveled driveway.” I told him it was nothing too dramatic, and he said he would stop by the next morning. I gave him my address. Or at least, an address that was somewhat near mine. Ted seemed too good to be true. I was skeptical. He proved me wrong. The next morning, he showed up with a shovel and an ice pick, and he did not kill me. He got to work shoveling out my car while I picked up a coffee and a scone for him. I don’t live very close to a café, so I was gone for about 45 minutes. When I came back, my car was mostly shoveled out. I helped, we chatted—mostly about his ex—and before I knew it, my car was free. Ted wasn’t creepy at all. I think he just got a kick out of being chivalrous and having a little company on Valentine’s Day. I’ve come to learn that the trick to using Tinder to get strangers to shovel out your car may be to find someone exactly like Ted because my next attempts did not go quite as smoothly.
First things first. I love this girls hustle. Love it. Don’t hate the playa hate the game. But let’s clear one thing up. Maybe the most naive thing I’ve ever heard anybody say in the history of life is that Ted just got a kick out of being chivalrous. YEAR RIGHT. Have you looked at yourself? You got this whole sweet, wholesome, sexy librarian thing going. This guy wanted to shovel your car out and then fuck you. That’s not a guess. That’s a fact. Maybe he wasn’t looking to get laid on the spot but at some point and time he thought he would get it in and that’s why he did it. And if he didn’t think you were down to fuck or interested and still did it anyway than I’d move now. Because that is is creep show city and how you end up in a dude’s freezer.
PS – How butt hurt Is this guy in the comment section?
Israel • 7 hours ago
Regardless of how clear you made your intentions, you knew quite well that you were taking advantage of your moderate attractiveness to convince desperate men looking for a quid pro quo. I am sure you and your friends had a good laugh about how pathetic men are, but the real loser in this story is you. Hopefully when you hit thirty in a couple years there are still a few men out there who don’t think YOU are a “total waste of time.”
Bro relax. Men have power, brains money. Chicks have their looks to offset it all. That’s how it works. Mix in a chick with brains and that’s how you dominate life.