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Dr Fauci Says It Is Okay To Hook Up With People From Tinder And Bumble, It's A #NationalHornyDay Miracle

(source)--Government coronavirus expert Dr. Anthony Fauci says that heartsick isolationists can hook up with asymptomatic Tinder matches in real life — but, like love, it involves some risk.

The 79-year-old immunologist dropped the unorthodox dating tip in a Tuesday interview on Snapchat’s “Good Luck America.”

Toward the end of the taped segment, Fauci was asked: “If you’re swiping on a dating app like Tinder, or Bumble or Grindr, and you match with someone that you think is hot, and you’re just kind of like, ‘Maybe it’s fine if this one stranger comes over.’ What do you say to that person?”

“You know that’s tough,” replied the befuddled National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases director to the curveball. “Because that’s what’s called relative risk.”

The entire country has sexual tension. Everyone needs a release. The eggplant and peach emojis are flying around. Sexting is up. DM slides are through the roof. The only people happy with this situation are the folks at pornhub who is giving away premium content right now the way Big Tobacco used to give cartons of cigarettes to GIs on their way to the front in WWII. Dr Fauci just gave a quote that makes him the all-time best wing man in maybe the history of the world. 

"If you’re willing to take a risk — and you know, everybody has their own tolerance for risks — you could figure out if you want to meet somebody. If you want to go a little bit more intimate, well, then that’s your choice regarding a risk.”

Just a perfect quote for the horny. Tacit compliance, but also...saying it's risky. Get that little purple devil emoji ready because you're about to be naughty. You're about to be dangerous. You're about to risk it all because you're horny she's worth it. All the excitement of doing something bad, with the assurance from the highest places that it is basically okay. That is the perfect recipe for end-times romp, and just in time for the weekend. Have fun out their, kids. Be safe, but...make exceptions for that one asymtematic smoke

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