How Are the Patriots Not Noodles Yet?



This may be the most amazing thing to me about the Patriots. How the fuck are they still partying so hard? How does Gronk and Edelman do it? Is this part of being a freak athlete? Their bodies are just superhuman? They don’t need sleep? They don’t need rest? Are they on coke? Adderall? What? Because let me tell you. I’ve been noodle city since the Superbowl. My brain is legit broken. Everytime I blow my nose blood comes out. I don’t think I’m gonna be fully healthy till March Madness. Meanwhile these guys are criss crossing the country, banging sloots everywhere, partying in freezing temperatures without jackets and just being savages. I couldn’t do that when I was 21 or now that I’m 37 fat and out of shape. It’s remarkable. It really is.