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Bus Driver Pro Tip: Coronavirus Barriers Do NOT Prevent Your Passengers from Seeing You Masturbate

Source - A SWISS bus driver has been sacked after he was filmed performing an alleged sex act in front of his passengers.

It's believed the pervert was unaware he could be seen by those on board, as he assumed a coronavirus screen shielded his actions.

He was allegedly filmed pleasuring himself while driving passengers in the central Swiss city of Lucerne.

The shocking incident was said to have taken place on a bus operated by Verkehrsbetriebe Luzern (VBL), which is the city's main public transport provider.

One shocked woman passenger spotted what the driver was doing in the reflection of the rear-view mirror inside the bus. She filmed what he was up to, and complained to his bosses.  ...

Plus, passengers were only allowed to exit from the rear of the bus, and the seat immediately behind the driver was blocked from use.

But he had apparently forgotten the mirror, that enables him to see his passengers - but also allows them to see him.

Ask me if I think someone operating a 10-ton motor vehicle through city streets while pleasuring himself like a monkey and that's a NO from me all day long. The public record will reflect that I have been clear and consistent on this matter. No matter how boring it is, going over the same route, over and over again, day after tedious day, I'd rather you be focused on the road ahead, not that time you once got road head. 

But having said that, let's not go overboard and ruin any otherwise stellar bus driving career over one mistake. I think that coronovirus barrier and the passengers exiting out the back are extenuating circumstances. It's not like he was trying to show himself whipping up a batch to the passengers. He thought he was hidden in that weird, abstract protective bubble people get in at a traffic lights where they feel like the window glass makes them invisible, so they go second-knuckle-deep up a nostril. It's not intentional. It's more of an instinct. 

I'm sure if he knew the mirror was exposing him punching the Munchkin, he would've thought twice. No crank is worth losing your job over. So I hate to see a good career go town the tubes over a simple error in judgment. This one of those situations that calls for a stern warning letter be placed into his permanent file, consider this whatever the Swiss equivalent of a "Strike One" is, and let's move on. 

P.S. On his exit interview, I think I would've had to ask him what his plan was to deal with the mess. On further review though, that's one of those mysteries that's probably left unsolved. 

P.P.S. This is only tangentially related, but it's a story worth telling. For a while after my beguiling Irish Rose and I moved out to the suburbs but were still working in Boston, she was taking the commuter bus into town. And most days she would be on the bus with this couple who always sat together. Early on, she noticed the woman twitching her head in a way that made her think maybe she had a nervous disorder, and thought the guy had his hand on her lap to comfort her. Being the person she is and based on her own semi-sheltered existence, she thought it was nice this poor woman had someone who cared about her and mentioned it to this woman in line for the bus the next morning in that "Isn't that sweet?" kind of way. And the woman flipped her lid. 

"Those two?" she growled. "They do that every day! There's nothing wrong with her! They're masturbating each other!" True. This woman had chronicled this for weeks and contacted the bus company. They said they'd look into it but apparently never did a thing. And the kicker is, the woman and the guy weren't a couple. They showed up in the lot every day in separate cars. How they ever managed to start that daily routine without at least him ending up on the Sex Offender Registry is beyond me. All I know is those were two people who must've greeted the alarm going off each weekday morning with a song in their hearts and couldn't wait for that ride into work. I like stories.