Chile Comes In Hot With The Greatest Coronavirus Spin Zone Of All Time: If You Die, You're Considered Recovered Because You Aren't Contagious

Cases of the novel coronavirus in Chile have climbed past 7,500, including 82 deaths, while over 2,300 have recovered from infection as of Tuesday, according to data from Johns Hopkins University.

But coronavirus patients in Chile who have died are being counted among the country's recovered population because they are "no longer contagious," Chile's Health Minister Jaime Mañalich said this week.

"We have 898 patients who are no longer contagious, who are not a source of contagion for others and we include them as recovered. These are the people who have completed 14 days of diagnosis or who unfortunately have passed away," Mañalich announced at a press conference.

It is unknown when Chile began including the dead among the number of people who have recovered. But the calculation has reportedly been adopted following validation by international health experts, the government claims.

Gotta love this move from Chile. Country of, not dish. If everyone dies, they will have no confirmed cases. This government is gonna come out smelling rosey as hell despite having just a touch of the smell of death. President Snow face ass. (Hunger Games deep cut reference) It'll be fine. All that really matters is the ole history books and if you doctor those better than you doctor your citizens, all is well. Because in the words of longtime stoolie James Hetfield, in the end, nothing else mattttteeeerrrrssssssss.