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Indiana Man Checked His Bank Account For Stimulus And Found $8,200,000 Had Been Deposited

(WGN)--An Indiana man expecting a $1,700 stimulus check received a windfall instead from the feds — over $8 million deposited, albeit briefly, to his bank account.Charles Calvin, a volunteer firefighter in New Chicago, said he got the $8.2 million surprise when he went to the ATM on Friday to withdraw some cash, news station WGNTV reported.

“I went to the ATM at the Family Express and once I withdrew $200 out of my account, I looked at the available balance still left in my account,” Calvin told the outlet. “Apparently, my account had $8.2 million in it.”

Well FUCK me. I am so tired of things like this happening to other people and not me. I'd love to wake up one day and check my account and find out I am a millionaire. Been waiting to do that for 34 years and still...nothing. I did check my bank account after reading this article, you know, just in case. Did not an extra 8 million dollars. In fact, my bank still hasn't refunded my checking account since my identity was stolen by some fucking asshole in Ohio a few months back. This story though, of Calvin the millionaire volunteer fire fighter does NOT have a happy ending though. 

On Monday morning, Calvin called his bank and they said they didn't see that amount in his checking account anymore. However, they did note that his $1,700 stimulus payment was deposited.

Now the volunteer firefighter is left wondering if there was some sort of fluke and if taxpayers are receiving way more or less than they should.

“It kind of sucks,” he said. “You go from being a millionaire one second then back to being broke again. But hey, once you're poor you don't have anywhere else to go but up.”

Kind of sucks, says Calvin. Kind of? Yeah man, it does. First rule of becoming an instant accidental millionaire…shut the fuck up

Don't call the bank and ask "uhh hey, you still have those millions that ended up in my account?". No. You just keep withdrawing that shit in cold hard cash until the ATM itself is empty. Then you gotta start wiring money all over the place. Everyone gets money. Move it around. New accounts. Wash it. Get in the drug game. Open up an E-Trade. Him losing this money is on him. Millionaires don't stay millionaires by just letting the government or the banks retract 8 million dollar mistakes. Nope. They move fast. They hide it. They park it off shore. They spend it. They do millionaire shit. I feel for this guy because he never had millionaire lessons and didn't know what to do, but he also deserves it.