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Jack Eichel Drinking Northeastern’s Tears Out of the BeanPot


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Listen everybody knows I’m not a big hockey guy. But even I know this kid Jack Eichel is supposed to be the next big thing. People saying he’s gonna be the #1 pick in the NHL Draft. Straight out of Chelmsford too. What Jack Eichel doesn’t know is Barstool has been silently protecting his ass for months now. Great hockey player, shitty social media guy. I hope one of his buddies reads this and tells him to stop drinking on snapchat, stop snapchatting with chicks you’re trying to fuck at Agannis late night. I mean you can do all of that stuff just don’t let people use cameras. Don’t say you’re coming for Buffalos ass and and then chug a Bud Light. Not yet at least. You’re 18 years old. Like you understand people can see this shit right? You’d be surprised how many people want to see your name in lights for the wrong reasons. That’s all I’m saying. Do I think somebody will pass on this free social media lesson to him from the King of the Internet? Yeah I actually do. And then I’ll collect when he least expects it.

PS – If all the local colleges were smart they’d bring me in before the season to talk about the perils of Social media like they do at NFL training camps and shit.