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Mark Cuban Accepts Position On President Trump's New Economic Council Despite Not Owning Big Cat's Brain

Daily Beast - Dallas Mavericks owner and “Shark Tank” star Mark Cuban confirmed to The Daily Beast on Tuesday night that he will be working with President Donald Trump’s newly announced “opening our country” economic council, to provide counsel to the White House on how and when to encourage Americans and businesses to begin returning to normal in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. 

Cuban, who endorsed and campaigned for Hillary Clinton in 2016 and called Trump a “jagoff” at a Pittsburgh rally that year, said that he’ll be taking on an “advisory” role with the new council.

We don't need to make a big Tom Hanks thread out of this. Just sitting here in quarantine thinking about how Barstool can pivot without sports and I figured it out. Everyone knows there's big money in federal contracts. With Cuban in a direct advisory role to the White House, that means he's going to need a bunch of fresh ideas from someone with experience saving lost causes like Detroit and the early stages of Barstool Chicago. 

Sound familiar? 

This is how we crack into Washington. Watch and learn as the Federal government approves the purchase of 1 million GIF t-shirts from Mike Welker while simultaneously buying the rights to CyberSpeak to use as a COVID-19 communication platform. If you think I'm joking, consider the effectiveness of employing 10's of thousands of twenty-somethings to manually and individually quarterback COVID-19 communications to the general population. I know it's late and we're just spitballing but that's actually something Mark Cuban should be talking about, which reminds me. 

How stupid does he feel for not buying Big Cat's brain at the end there? I mean Mark you literally had a blank check on the dude's skull and you couldn't even cough up a number? Kinda makes me nervous you didn't see Hurricane Dan coming but you'll be influencing major federal policy. Maybe in all seriousness you should rope us in* or at the very least open the doors for round 2 and see what we have to offer. Great leaders don't make the same mistake twice.