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We Have A New Definition for "Dick In A Box"

Let me just say that there is nothing more distasteful than judging how other people get their rocks off. One of the reasons that people hide the kink that turns them on in the first place, is because of the fear of judgment and inevitably the shame they feel from feeling that their sexual predilections make them some sort of weirdo. Not cool. 

So hands up. No kink-shaming here.  

But... there a BIG but here. I promise to never judge your fetishes ONLY if your fetishes promise not to kill anyone, including yourself. 

Please be aware if you're into getting in a small box with your pregnant, married, mistress, you might want to make sure you have enough air for everyone to come out the other side, well, alive. 

And that's exactly what one man recently failed to plan for. According to the local news out of Lagos, "a father of four died during a sex romp with his married, pregnant concubine inside a container."

Excuse me?

The mistress was known to be pregnant with her husband's child, who was said to be an acquaintance of the man she was fucking in said box. 

Ok... I get it. Forbidden fruit. Change your relationship status to "It's Complicated." But ...

Police reports state that the man "suffocated by the fume of the generator" that was outside the container, designed to keep the two warm. 

Yikes. Dude was trying to set the mood and then ended up dying from carbon monoxide poisoning. Tough. Break.  

In addition to the bizarre set up of this romper room of infidelity (again not judging), his wife (not the woman in the box) was shockingly unaware of his whereabouts. 

I feel like he should have at least given her a heads up. That's just good form.

According to the article, she claimed: "her husband had abandoned her with the children for three weeks without sending them money to feed them with." 

The more I read about this guy, the more I think just maybe he wasn't a good dude. But that's just me.  

According to reports, the community seemed shocked that the local fruit market merchant known "as a jolly good fellow" around the neighborhood would be up to such mischief.

Like I said at the beginning, I won't judge you for your kinks if you don't judge me. But damn, leaving your wife and kids for a three-week romp in a container with the pregnant wife of your friend that ends up with you dead? There's GOT to be an easier way to get your rocks off.