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Delta Airlines: Sorry First Class, We're Letting The Zone 7 Losers Board First Now

From Forbes:

Thanks to widespread measures around the globe encouraging people to maintain at least six feet in distance from one another, it’s no longer possible to board an airplane in the traditional way that sorted passengers by fare class and group number. Now, social distancing among passengers is the priority.

Delta Air Lines was the first carrier to adopt a new boarding procedure taking social distancing in mind late last week. On April 10th it shared that it would start loading airplanes from back to front, irrespective of most factors like when, where or for how much a passenger booked.

In loading aircraft from the back to the front, passengers minimize the time they spend walking past other passengers and potentially getting exposed to any possible contaminants.

Ah... So 'back to front' is the new way to do it. (*Ladies, don't get it mixed up - we're still wiping our vaginas front to back.)

Gotta tell ya, this news warmed all the little sodium-from-canned-food clogged veins of my low-class heart. That's because Zone-7 losers are the grownup version of L-7 weenies, and I am for sure one of them. There have been times where my zone is so far down the number line I feared my seat would be tucked inside the rear bathroom trashcan. (Great news, my seat was only tucked right next to the bathrooms.) Now no matter where I sit in the back at least I'll be settled in first and able to snag some bin space.

Obviously I'm biased on this topic so to keep my reporting fair and balanced I reached out to a wealthy relative & Delta Mega Elite Member for their thoughts:


Ugh… this change is fucking terrible. Sure there's the networking opportunities and the meals, but the biggest perk of all for business and first class flyers, and the main reason any of us spring for it in the first place, is relaxing in our seats and watching the poors (like you, Kate, no offense) scuttle by in a sad, sweaty little Peasant Parade. 

Honest to God sometimes I pretend I'm a Queen. Look upon my leg room, my glasses of wine, longingly gaze at my expensive coat & important clothing hung neatly in a closet just for me. Continue your exodus to the back where you'll be crammed in like cattle and left to fend for yourselves in a battle for overhead bins. It's just a treat. God how broken they look sometimes… delicious. And then never having to look at them again as we leave the plane and those fools in our dust…

Oh, by the way, you still owe Aunt Deb $100 for Kelly's shower gift and you need to call Uncle Steve.

Wow, riveting first hand emotions there. 

Overwhelmingly the comments on posts reporting this were on my side of things & wondering why they don't just aways fill them in from the back to the front. It seems so much faster & more logical… But whatever the reason, you better enjoy it while you can if have to fly right now and you're my status of flier, because it's going back to the usual way when we're past this.