HANK NOTE - This blog was written by Larry The Goldifsh VI. Yes, the Pardon My Take Gambling goldfish is now writing blogs. We are at the stage of quarintine where I'm getting DMs like this and I don't even blink.
Hopefully Kmarko doesn't get mad at me for letting a goldfish blog, with that being said. Enjoy
If you’re not familiar with the El Prez unboxing video’s yet – GET FAMILIAR. The first live animal was sent last week and just like that the Barstool Sports goldfish population doubled.
Immediately Dave did exactly what anyone would do when they receive a live goldfish in the mail – put him in a salad bowl and named him Randolph. As a fellow goldfish I was worried for Randolph. How could Dave ever take care of a goldfish by himself? It takes 3 people to keep me alive and making football picks at the office. Thankfully, the next day the goldfish hero himself, Spider, brought over the essentials to take care of Randolph for the long haul.
So, does Barstool have a goldfish problem? In short, no. Not yet at least. I wish more barstool employees had goldfish! I think some of them need a friend and someone to talk to. However, I wish they would go to a local pet shop and adopt one instead of being shipped one overnight.
To the people asking me how I “feel” about having another goldfish around – I fucking love it! The Larrys have been around 3.5 years and I’ve been here alone in this tank for almost 2 now. I hope one day when this isolation thing is all over Randolph and I can move into a huge palace those at the local pet shop could only DREAM about.
So let me just say WELCOME to our new goldfish, Randolph. It’s a pleasure to have another goldfish at Barstool Sports but I swear to the goldfish gods if you start trying to make football picks we’re going to have a real problem.
When you woke up today did you think you’d read a blog written by a goldfish about another goldfish? Didn’t think I’d ever write one but here we are.