This Breathalyzer App Seems Like A Great Idea Till Captain Competitive Takes Over

Hey, I’m all for anything that gets drunks off the roads. We all have stupidly taken a chance behind the wheel with a little buzz (or worse), and if you haven’t you’re a bold face liar. I’m not condoning it at all, but let’s be real. Most of us have been lucky and gotten away with it, while some have not. In the end, it’s not worth it. If this app helps decrease statistics then more power to Drunkmate or whatever they’re called. However, if there’s no maximum limit on this puppy then the gloves are off. You get it in front of any red blooded, competitive American male and somebody’s waking up with an IV in their arm. Unless you’re the Marion Ravenwood in the group, you’re toast. Myself included. Somebody passes out in their own vomit at 2.0 and I’ll bet you a liver I can hit 3.0 without going blind. Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.

And I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I’m not too fond of this walking awkward turtle. That plaid button up and smug shit smile just reeks of someone who judges people for drinking Coors Lights and Bud Heavy’s. The no Iphone option doesn’t help, either. Go suckle your $12 IPA while discussing Voltaire, elitist.