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This Tik Tok Is The EXACT Reason I Don't Have A Girlfriend

This tik tok showcases the exact reason I don't have a girlfriend. 

It's not because I'm a college dropout. Nor is it because I have the hairline of comparable to Pennywise the Clown. It's not even because I still live with my parents and have a job that I don't even get paid for! No it because I simply cannot stand for her to have to facetime me in the middle of a crucial warzone game. I mean, just watch that tik tok. Literally nightmare fuel. Her call is probably the reason the whole squad died. I can't be held responsible for losing a game in the closing moments because I had to talk to my girlfriend.

What happens when she calls me in game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals? What then? Am I supposed to answer and pretend everything's alright when my miracle finals run is over because some kid spams Giannis down my throat? No! Well, I'd answer but it'd quickly turn into a fight of sorts. The same thing probably happened as soon as this girl pressed stop recording. She probably got mad at him for prioritizing the game over her but he was "just playing with the bros" yadda yadda yadda.

I just couldn't deal with it. I get irrationally mad when I turn the ball over in 2k, much less when someone is spamming my phone non-stop. Then you have to answer and try to explain what's going on. At that point, it has turned into a whole big ordeal and it's just not worth it. Thanks but no thanks, ladies. I think I'd rather just not deal with it all.


Editor's Note: I was going to write, to be fair to Ethan this blog was done early, it was scheduled out for later since it was not time sensitive. But I think letting Ethan continue to even have an account is more fairness than he deserves, so I don't really give a fuck if people think he just woke up. To be fair to ME, if Friday didn't happen he actually would just be waking up.