I don't know about you but the 1990s Nickelodeon slate used to be my shit. Every day I'd rush home from school, anxious to watch some of my favorite Nick shows and cartoons.
I wish they still made cartoons on par with the likes of Ren & Stimpy, Doug, and Rocko's Modern Life. But they don't.
But there's still time. Now that productions with real actors have had to come to a screeching halt due to The 'Rona, I think the studios would be smart to pivot from human-led television to cartoons. Basically, I'm saying Nickelodeon needs to reboot some of the classics because I'm running out of Netflix shows to stream.
And I think I have just the show for them to adapt. CatDog. But in this case, instead of a cat and dog sharing the same body, it will be a double catfish.
We'll call it CatFish
Where did I get the inspiration for this genius?
Southeast Asia. OF COURSE.
A couple of days ago, a video went viral off the coast of Indonesia. A small fish (catfish) was discovered with a second head located in the place where the tail should be. Usually, such a mutation would be fatal, but nope not in this case, because the film showed this little guy thriving.
And that's when the lightbulb went off. This is my chance to break into producing cartoons.
Hear me out. The scene starts out showing the vast ocean and birds-eye view of a very small fishing boat. The camera zooms in and the next frame shows the bucket, inside of it a seemingly normal Catfish. The camera pans from one head, whom we'll call Cat, to where you think will be his tail. But... it's another head instead. We'll call him Fish And that other head looks mad. Very mad.
I can see this now. The dramatic narrator's voice comes on. "CatFish is in a Balinesian pickle. Out for a quick meal, they instead find themselves at the end of a hook. Who's to blame?"
"You moron," Cat says angrily, "Why did you take the bait, Fish? Even a sucker would have known there was a hook in that chicken liver!"
Fish looks hurt. "You're always picking on me. I didn't say anything when YOU ate that plastic bottle cap that got caught in your throat for a week!"
Cat twists to look angrily at Fish. "Well, isn't this a fine kettle of fish you've gotten us into!"
Quarantine is hitting me so hard I'm inventing shitty cartoons in my head. Looks like I'm off to watch some Nick shows. Maybe ten hours of Angry Beavers, Hey Arnold! and yes, CatDog, will get this image of a talking double headed catfish out of my head.