I don’t quite understand how a game that saw 6 goals in regulation time could be so damn boring, but last night’s game was a snoozefest. Flyers v. Coyotes hockey has the face for radio. For the majority of the game, it appeared that the Flyers were coming off the All Star break in true Flyers fashion. They were skating like they wouldn’t even be the best players on your beer league team, they probably took 90 shots but only 42 of them were on net, and of course they were down in the whole before most people were even able to get situated in their seats. But somehow they turned the game around, the Coyotes started to do Coyote things (if you look at how the word “coyote” is spelled for too long you start to question humanity), and the Flyers came back to win in yet another shootout. The kids have been hot in the shootout lately after not winning a single one of those hell-forsaken things in 2014. So let’s get right in to it.
Simmer Down, Bitch
The Wayne Train potted home the first goal for the Orange & Black on the power play and it was a cookie-cutter Wayne Simmonds goal. The only thing is he didn’t end up on his back after scoring this one so I guess he’s been improving. He also scored the only goal of the shootout with that slick little dangle you see above. There are very few untouchables on this Flyers team, but Simmer keeps making a case for himself to be one of them. He’ll do it all and I RE2PECT that. By the way, Mike Smith still has no idea what happened on that move. Sam Smith > Mike Smith.
Michael Del Zotto and His Hair Are Unstoppable
My oh my. This one is getting saved in Jordie’s folder labeled “Tax stuff totally not porn”. Del Zotto took that punk bitch Mike Smith on a one-way trip to Snipcinnati. That puts MDZ on a 4-game point streak and a 37-game perfect hair streak. Hey Rangers fans, thanks for being such idiots about this whole Del Zotto situation. Your tears make it all the more worthwhile.
So it took less than 6 minutes after the All Star break for Ray Emery to get yanked. Unless the Flyers are playing the Penguins, I honestly don’t see any reason for Razor Ray to play. After coming in down 2-0 just 5:50 into the game, Stone Cold Steve Mason was lights out. Mase is awesome, his dog is awesome, his girlfriend is awesome. The only problem is he keeps getting hurt and the Flyers keep playing him too soon and too often after injuries. I’d much rather not kill Steve Mason if that is an option. But seriously, as awful as this season has been so far, Mason has been one of the very few bright spots. He doesn’t make me want to jump off a bridge like the rest of them.
The Other Guys
– Ryan White made his Flyers debut last night filling in for the suspended Zac Rinaldo. White played exactly like how you’d imagine a guy to play who just spent the last 6 hours at the bar. But the Flyers have never lost a game when he was in the lineup so I guess he can stick around.
– At one point during a commercial break, the people working the PA system played “Peanut Butter Jelly Time”. I don’t know who was responsible for this and why, but we need to find them and fire that person right away. It’s one thing for the team to suck, it’s a completely different thing for the in-game experience to suck as well.
– Giroux and Voracek each had themselves an apple last night and remain 1-2 in the league. Suck it, everyone else.