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Guy Broke Into Home and Stole Some Shit...But Not Before Signing Onto Facebook And Not Logging Out

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CBS – A Minnesota man is in jail because he logged on to Facebook. Police say 26-year-old Nicholas Wig checked his profile from a home he broke into, and then he didn’t log off. It happened June 19 in South St. Paul. “World’s dumbest criminal,” the homeowner James Wood said. “I don’t know.” Wood had come home to find his house ransacked. His credit cards, cash and watch were all gone. In their place, the thief had left a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt, that were all wet. Wood said it had been raining outside. “I started to panic,” he said. “But then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile.” Wood posted to Facebook using Wig’s profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day. “I replied you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you,” Wood said. Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen. Wood, at his friend’s house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police. “I’ve never seen this before,” Dakota County Attorney James Backstrom said. “It’s a pretty unusual case, might even make the late night television shows in terms of not being too bright.” Wig was wearing Wood’s watch when he found him. Police arrested him at the scene. He could face up to 10 years in prison and $20,000 in fines if convicted.

Let’s break down what this guy did: 1) He broke into a house and stole a bunch of stuff. Ok perfect. When you’re a burglar, that’s what you do. You steal stuff. So he nailed that part of the job. But let’s continue. 2) He took off his muddy shoes so he couldn’t be tracked. Perfect. Nailed it. That’s a veteran move right there. So many people would forget to do that, but not this guy. He knew the tricks of the trade. So let’s continue. 3) He signed onto Facbeook on the person’s computer. Welp. That’s always the thing that gets you. When you can’t help but check your Facebook before leaving with cash and credit cards and watches. Fucking Facebook man. The downfall of burglars everywhere…in 2006. Seriously, who is addicted/needs to check Facebook anymore? That’s the ridiculous part of this. That he checked Facebook, not Twitter. Nobody checks Facebook compulsively anymore. His problem wasn’t being a shitty burglar, his problem was living in the past. Guy probably had on JNCOs too. So he almost got away with it, but Facebook…and you know, texting the guy he stole from, got him in the end. I guess I have to touch on that too…he then texted the guy he stole from, trying to get his shoes back. That’s not very savvy. Not very professional burglar at all.