28 Year Old Neymar Has No Choice But To Murder His Mom's New 22 Year Old Boyfriend

Neymar is an all universe soccer player for PSG. He's currently in the middle of a gigantic contract that pays him hundreds of millions of dollars. His girlfriend is stunning. All would seem right in the world for the Brazilian star, except for one thing. His 52 year old mom is now dating and in love with a 22 year old gamer. Neymar's mom's boyfriend is six years YOUNGER than Neymar. Look at this asshole. 

Here's what his mom looks like for reference

This is some real life worst case scenario stuff here. Kris Jenner couldn't even think of this. If you're Neymar you probably think this is some elongated April fools prank until you see them hooking up on the couch. I thought being stuck with a relatively new girlfriend/boyfriend was a doomsday scenario for the quarantine, but being stuck home with your mom's new 22 year old boyfriend shoots right to the top of the list.

 The way I see it Neymar has two choices: 1) plot an assassination attempt and have it carried out by the Brazilian cartel 2) murder him yourself and rely on the corrupt judicial system down in Brazil to let you slide. Whatever it is, you have to do something and make a stand. That first tiktok? You simply cannot allow that to go on. No matter how nice and respectful this kid may be, no son in their right mind can let this slide and live their life normally. Maybe don't lead with the murder and instead devise a series of elaborate schemes and traps to ruin his life. At least you give him the option to peace out of the family before resorting to murder. 

I guess option 3 would be after the quarantine you take your smokeshow girlfriend and leave your family for good. You tell your mom it's been real, but while this relationship exists yours will not. If murder ain't your style then option 3 is for you.