“My name’s Jonah and I got a giant bone-ah”
Fire! Absolute fire flames! You know I was getting sick of Jonah Falcon. He’s been on Barstool like 20 times over the years. Every 6 months or so his name pops up on all the same websites and he’s babbling about his giant cock and how his life is so hard. Can’t find a job because he gets discriminated against for his gigantic dick. Can’t board airplanes without being frisked by TSA because of his gigantic dick. Can’t find a girlfriend because of his gigantic dick. Wah wah wah, its always the same. Just a whole lot of incessant complaining about his hammer. Just hanging his hat on a 1999 Guinness World Record measurement and never doing anything with it.
Well not any fucking more! Jonah Falcon may have just dropped the single of the year. The beat, the hook, the rap. Just a complete song. Hey Zollo! Where the fuck were you on this one dipshit?? J. Falcon puts out the banger of the century and you’re busy posting some EDM shit to Barstool U. Zollo wouldn’t know good music if it came in the form of a 13 inch cock and slapped him in the face.
PS – At first I wondered what sort of lunatic would be willing to be featured on this song but then I looked him up. Adam Barta:
Guy probably did the song for free. Just wanted a piece of the Jonah Bone-ah as payment.