Science Proves Sex Is Better If We Feel That We're Having It More Often Than Our Friends

Telegraph – The research suggests sex is like salaries, in that people are generally happy if they keep up with the Joneses and are even happier if they get ahead. However, those who feel they are having less sex than their peers tend to feel more miserable. The study, carried out by sociologists at the University of Colorado, in Boulder, found we feel happier the more sex with have. But we also measure our happiness according to what we think our friends and neighbours are up to. Professor Tim Wadsworth, who led the research, said: “There’s an overall increase in sense of well-being that comes with engaging in sex more frequently. “But there’s also this relative aspect to it. “Having more sex makes us happy, but thinking we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier.” Prof Wadsworth analysed reports completed by 15,386 people surveyed between 1993 and 2006 who described their lives and happiness levels. He controlled for many other factors, including income, education, marital status and health. Those who had sex at least two to three times a month were 33 per cent more likely to report a higher level of happiness than those who had no sex during the previous 12 months. That happiness effect appears to rise as we have more sex. If someone is having sex two to three times a month but believes their peers are having sex weekly, their probability of reporting a higher level of happiness falls by about 14 per cent, Prof Wadsworth found. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to compare ourselves who we believe to be better off in life.

Spot on. Could not be more true. Maybe for a time when you first start having sex, you’re doing it for the love of the game. You’re fucking chicks strictly because you enjoy putting your penis inside a vagina. But once the allure has worn off, banging girls or fucking your girlfriend is just like worry about how much money you make or what your job title is – you’re doing it strictly to keep up with the Joneses. Truth be told I could hop into bed right now and absolutely punish myself and be completely happy with it. I know exactly what my dick wants. I can make it last as long or as short as I want. I can get the job done on my own just fine.

But then I’m the masturbating loser that doesn’t have sex and doesn’t keep his girlfriend satisfied. I start thinkin about all my buddies. Are they laying the pipe like 5 times a week? Am I the sexual reject? Then the competitive side of me kicks in. You think I really wanna flop around on top of my lady and embarrass myself? Cramp up and throw my back out while I hold out for an extra few minutes? Take all my clothes off and make a mess and all that jazz? For sure not. Its just that I don’t wanna be known as the guy who doesn’t bang enough. Strictly a competition thing with other guys and other couples.

Chances are other dudes out there feel the same way and in some sort of weird way we’re all having sex for each other. And the poor women are just caught in the crossfire. Sexually unsatisfied collateral damage from a weird macho insecurity about how often we all fuck.