Everyone Is So Horny These Days Zebras and Donkeys Are Mating, Creating Zonkeys

There is nothing quite like unadulterated, prolonged, solo dolo time. Especially when you're NOT booed up, and don't even have someone to sext from afar, Facetime, or fantasize about eventually sleeping with. 

Other beings start to seem more attractive. You start asking for phone numbers on IG Live and proclaiming to the world what your "type" is. Every innocuous phrase hits different; like a naughty double entendre, no matter who it's from. 

It actually just happened to me the other day. I got an inkling that my doorman might be hitting on me when he offered to hand-deliver my package straight up to my unit. He even told me not to worry, he was wearing gloves. 

Ooh... Sexy.

Yeah, it's getting harder and harder by the day. See, I didn't even mean for that to sound dirty, but when I read it back... it certainly did.

In short, EVERYONE'S HORNY. But if it makes you feel any better, as it turns out, it's not just humans that are feeling this way, the rest of the animal kingdom is too. 

Recently, in Kenya, there has been a report of a "highly unusual" hybrid species between a Zebra and a Donkey.

A Zonkey. What a name.

The story goes as follows. A female zebra escaped the Tsavo East National Park, filled with lust and want, wandered around the grasslands aimlessly, ready to fuck any four-legged species that came her way. Along the way, before she was captured and taken back into pseudo-captivity, she lived; she lived her best damn life, in fact. She became an honorary member of a local woman's cattle herd, and found herself a dirty little donkey to do nasty things to and yes, even got knocked up. 

What a heater. And what a deliciously cute offspring. 

I have to say, it feels somewhat good to know that its not just every human that is reaching peak levels of sexual frustration. It gave me tremendous solace to know that even lady Zebras, in my view one of the more demure, and ladylike equids out there, also have a penchant to hit the town and make some bad decisions.

Zonkey punch, anyone?