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How Having A Goatee Has Changed My Life

You ever meet someone and then have a hard time remembering what your life was like before that person? That’s how I feel about my goatee. 

It’s crazy to think that I went almost 24 years of life without this little guy on my chin. I can hardly recall what life was like before having this rugged facial hair, and I never want to go back. I’ve been growing this thing out since quarantine started, and it’s absolutely changed my life for the better. Here are some highlights 

The Women

There's plenty more where that came from, but I wanted to keep it somewhat PG. The text messages, Snapchats, and DMs have been flowing in like crazy. It's proven science that girls love guys with some rugged facial hair. 

From The Gentlemanual 

According to one study, women favor heavy stubble. Particularly the growth that equates to about ten days of not shaving. Based on this research, women rated heavy stubble as being most desirable and most indicative of maturity, dominance, and aggression. Stubble, you could say, is a nonverbal cue to the opposite sex that you’re a manly man.

My goatee screams maturity, dominance, and aggression. 

My Peers Respect Me

In high school, none of the cool boys wanted to play sports with me and none of the cool girls wanted to "have sex with me." That's all changed now. I've gone from babyfaced geek to athletic jock in just a short few weeks. 

My Dad Loves Me

I have been waiting 24 years for this moment. 

Higher Net Worth

Easy as that. 


Those are just several ways that my life has drastically improved since growing a goatee. If you want to grow one too, it's pretty simple. 

1. Wait for a global pandemic to hit. 

2. Stay inside and don't shave your chin for a few weeks.

3. Grow goatee.

Highly recommend it.