I Want To Dunk On Lori Lightfoot So Bad I Can Taste It

Everyone knows I'm working with a bad knee so take all of this with a grain of salt. But the general premise is that Lori Lightfoot is lucky I don't dust her executive ass up and down the courts at 18th and State this weekend. One knee, two knees, two-birds, doesn't matter. You're about to be overwhelmed with fundamentals and hustle rebounds and headfakes. You don't come at an entire city's jump shot. Not on my watch. 

And so what if my jumper sucks anyways? JAB STEP. 1-0. 

So what if I'm a career 21.1% behind the arc? SHOT FAKE. 2-0. 

Who cares if I'm a liability away from the hoop? REVERSE PIVOT. 3-0. 

All this time you're yapping about my inability to stretch a defense and I've just been grinding fundamentals in your face. Which reminds me. Huge lesson for all you virgins at home that a steady commitment to the basics can neutralize even the greatest weaknesses like my bitch jumper. Same thing goes for a good sense of humor and your underwhelming dick. 

Lucky for her though I wasn't around earlier this week to talk trash directly to her face. Good thing because she was bringing heat starting with a Jay Cutler leadership assessment. Definitely worth the price of admission even if she'd get goosed by me on the pavement 11-0