If you’re like me, everyone in your life is using Zoom. I spend at least two and a half hours per day on it for Breakfast and for the most part it’s dream. Limited technical issues, super easy to use, quality video and audio blah blah blah. The one problem I do experience, however, is getting out of a call when I no longer want to be on it. With work it’s easy because once you're done you're done, but for personal calls, the happy hours with friends etc., it can get tricky. A lot of times you end up just sitting there. It’s not like you can use going out as an excuse to leave either. You have come up with something more creative so no one's feelings get hurt. Which is why I put together a little cheat sheet for you to use next time you find yourself stuck in an undesirable Zoom room.
So without further adieu, I present to you the five best excuses to get out of a Zoom call:
1. “My Internet Sucks”
This one is easy. Right when you get on the call open by saying your internet sucks that way you have a built in excuse to leave. No one can debate it either. How are they going to prove you don't have shitty internet? They're not. All you have to do is start telling people they're frozen a few minutes before you hang up and you're in the clear.
2. "My Computer Sucks"
Again, once people start hopping on the call set the expectation. "Hey just a heads up, if I freeze or cut out it's because my computer sucks." If you really want to commit you can hop off the call early then immediately get back on so they know you're having problems. Act frustrated. Hopefully the people you're talking to aren't awful enough to make want to do that, but it's an option. You can also toggle the mute button at the bottom left so it seems like your audio is screwed up.
3. "I have another call right after this." AND/OR "My food is on the way so I may have to go."
If the call is for an hour and you only want to do fifteen minutes, say you have leave in 15 minutes. Tell them it's because you have another call (preferably with family) and/or your food is on the way. If you use the food excuse you can always stay on longer if things are going well. Set the bar low and exceed it. You're essentially scheduling your exit.
4. Stop paying attention.
Pretty simple- open another internet tab and start doing something else. YouTube, emails, it doesn't matter as long as you seem distracted. They'll be able to hear you typing/thousand yard staring and get the picture. You can also angle your body away from the camera so you appear busy. This is probably the rudest way to leave a call since you're essentially ghosting them to their face but again, it's an option.
5. Say you want to leave.
Just say it, yo. Honesty is always the best policy. If you're bored, tell them you're bored. If you want to do something else, tell them you want to do something else. Chances are no one cares about you being there anyway.
And that's that. Shout out to everyone Zooming their way through life right now. Especially the college students. It must stink doing class online, but it's good content. Enjoy your virtual happy hours this weekend and remember, if you want to leave just leave.