The US Government Is Giving Out Another $2.3 TRILLION To Help Private Business

The Daily Beast - The U.S. Federal Reserve has rolled out a staggering $2.3 trillion package in its latest effort to save small and mid-size businesses from folding while the country battles the novel coronavirus pandemic. “Our country’s highest priority must be to address this public-health crisis, providing care for the ill and limiting the further spread of the virus,” Powell. Following the announcement, Wall Street jumped at the open with the Dow Jones Industrial Average rising some 257 points.

I feel like it's real easy to forget these days that two trillion dollars is actually a fuck ton of money. To combat that, here's a blog I wrote not too long ago when Congress approved a completely different batch of stimulants worth $2 Trillion

And of course I'll say it again. I feel like Charlie Brown listening to an adult any time we start talking about stimulus packages and the American economy. Just a bunch of mumbo jumbo about The Fed and interest rates and indexes and 50-year bond yields and all that fancy bullshit. Maybe that makes me stupid but 1st let me see you translate this sentence from the report. 

The central bank said it will work with banks to hand out four-year loans to companies of up to 10,000 employees, and will buy up bonds of states and cities to help them battle back from the unprecedented health crisis.

Do you know how much information is in that one sentence? I'm like Paul Rudd on shrooms talking hotel chairs in Knocked Up. 

DUDE THIS IS ONE SENTENCE 

The central bank said it will work with banks 

already lost

to hand out four-year loans 

sounds suspicious

to companies of up to 10,000 employees

literally almost every company in the united states

 and will buy up bonds of states and cities 

nope

to help them battle back from the unprecedented health crisis

well when you connect the dots like that. Obviously.Point is for all you youngsters at home that $2 trillion is a staggering amount of money. No disrespect to the Bible but neither testament saw that amount of capital coming in this life or the next.

Fortunately though it sounds like there are way less exclusions and contingencies attached to this round of $2 trillion. And as limited as my brain may be, I feel like this is very good news so congrats to all the monetary policy experts out there that wanted some hot & steamy action. You most certainly got it.

Elsewhere, I'm headed to the Fed Wikipedia page and I'm not fuckin leaving til I understand what they do. Or it does. Or however you talk about that goddamn place. Whatever the right nomenclature, I'm coming for that ass and you better believe I won't miss.