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Dr. Fauci Says That We Should Never Shake Hands Again And Now I'm Worried That He's Not A Hockey Guy

Everybody knows that Dr. Fauci is a total stud right now. He's been having a breakout season and has been dummying this virus every step of the way. He's the clear cut favorite to win whatever the Norris Trophy equivalent would be for the medical profession. But with that being said...

"Just forget about shaking hands. We don't need to shake hands--we gotta break that custom"

Buddy,,,,,I'm sorry but in what world? In what world do you see hockey handshakes ever going away? It's the greatest tradition in all of sports. And the fact that Dr. Fauci would come out and say this right as the Stanley Cup Playoffs would be starting? I'm starting to think that this is actually an attack specifically on hockey players everywhere. Which would make sense considering that Tony Buckets was a basketball player before becoming the biggest wagon of a doctor in the league. 

Sick league! 

I've got nothing but respect for the FauchMan right now, so I'm willing to compromise here a little. I'm totally on board with him that maybe we don't need to shake someone's hand just because we're meeting them for the first time. Maybe we don't need to shake someone's hand just to thank them for something. Maybe we don't actually need to ever shake anyone's hands whenever you don't have a pair of skates on your feet. I'm willing to back him up on all of that. 

But at the end of a Stanley Cup Playoff series? I don't care who you are or how many Presidents you've worked for--nobody will ever take hockey handshakes away. You try to take those away and that's how the virus wins. We want to beat the virus for good? We stare it right in the goddamn eyes and we kill it with sportsmanship.