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Working Mom Tells Her Kids School She's #DONE With "Virtual Classrooms"

She got political at the end there which I'm sure will rile people up and cause some dissension but 

A) Doesnt seem like the type of gal that particularly gives a fuck


B) Politics aside, if you're a working mom or dad right now, you absolutely FEEL this shit right here.

I mean dont get me wrong its all well and good to try to maintain some education in kid's lives right now. And if you're talking about an older kid, you definitely gotta keep up. But the first graders of the world?? The Pre-K kids? Cmon. Give me a fucking break. I have a 4 year old and a TWO YEAR OLD. And every day they are logging into to Zoom calls like they are in corporate America trying to keep up. Its hard enough to get them to sit still for anything, let alone a virtual school lesson. I'm grateful for all the teachers out there trying to still make it work and trying to still see their students and continue educating, but some of this shit is so overbearing for working parents. If you're a stay at home mom or dad, its actually probably a welcome part of the routine. Breaks up the day, gives you something to do. But if you're trying to juggle your job and your kids and now in addition to you sitting on your own teleconference, firing off emails, trying to stay afloat and keep your company or your position alive while the global economy, in addition to gotta set up your virtual classroom?? You gotta try to get your child who can barely comprehend the chaos in the world right now to sit still for an hour while someone tries to teach them through an iPad?? For sure not.

My favorite is when they try to get you all excited about some of the take home projects schools are sending along to the parents. Thats rich. 

Hi parents! Here's a list of all the things we'll need, amidst this global crisis where its difficult to even go out and get a gallon of milk without risking life and limb, and where Amazon is shipping things anywhere between 6-8 weeks! You shouldnt have any trouble!

- Paint (TEMPERA BASED, please. No water colors!)
- Paint brushes (Variety pack) (fine bristles preferred!)
- A pack of 128 oil pastels
- 50 yards of yarn
- n95 breathing masks
- Industrial strength rubber cement
- Polymer based clay
- Feathers (actual bird feathers preferred, but fake feathers will suffice, I suppose)
- A hole punch (Individual! Not 3 hole!)
- and last but not least, 3 dozen acorns!

We will be making a diorama teaching the children about forests!

Ah, yes. Let me put this all to the top of my to-do list. I will throw out my grocery list, find an art supply wholesale factory thats operating, obtain these materials, and then I cannot wait to sit with my child who is barely old enough to use a toilet, and make an arts and crafts project with them. My favorite part will be when we promptly throw it in the garbage afterwards! This is absolutely essential at the moment and I will gladly drop my day job, which is undoubtedly in jeopardy, and risk my paycheck and our financial safety to ensure that little Tommy and Suzie are drawing inside the lines and glueing cotton balls to construction paper!

I dont want to sound like an asshole, although I'm fully aware I probably am. And I'm sure if teachers just said "Ah, fuck it! Summer vacation starts now!" there would be riots. Particularly with private schools and tuition and people demanding refunds and what not. So I realized its rock and a hard place. But sometimes I think schools and teachers just do not think about the households with 2 working parents in general, let alone when a global pandemic is making everything 8000x more difficult. If anything these experience has highlighted how essential teachers are and how underpaid they are. They deserve all the credit in the world because after 2 weeks of schools asking parents to do the leg work, I'm over here like "Well absolutely fuccccck this noise!" 

So teachers, I commend you! I salute you! But for real just do not expect me to actually give a shit about the rest of this school year. Its every man, woman and child for themselves. Its survival mode. Its Lord of the Flies, and I'm just tryna make sure my kids dont get crushed by a goddam boulder.