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If Freddy Krueger Can't Get People To Stay Home Then We're All Doomed

That laugh brings you back, man.

Maybe the scariest slasher villain of all-time because he was devious. He knew how and when to hit you and he hit you with this weird horrifying humor that made things ten times worse. Oh, and he also attacked you in your sleep, you know the most vulnerable state that you're in. Fuckkkkk that and his ripply face, striped sweater, and hat.

It got me to thinking though about how we should be having these guys film vignettes for the virus. Like this lady Jan Malcolm seems like a great woman. Probably very smart too. Smarter than I'd ever dream of being:


But, Jan Malcolm isn't scaring anybody!

Then how about the CDC going with a bunch of graphics:

Fuck that.

Give us Freddy, Michael Myers, Leatherface, Jason, and Pennywise the Clown. Tie balloons all over cities and put up Myers hallograms and I can guarantee you everybody is staying put on their couch.